Mother-Daughter Communication

Let's dispense with the "it's been so long, blah, blah, blah" and go straight into what the biannual mother-daughter bonding shop looks like.

First, I meet my mother at the train station.

The guy behind me had what looked like aluminum foil hair.

Then we head to Bergdorf Goodman for lunch and a bit of browsing.  We pretty much share the same thing for lunch each time:  the Gotham salad (always) and the tea sandwiches.  I have to say, the tea sandwiches were a bit underseasoned and underwhelming this time.  Sometimes we have the deviled eggs, but mine are better (really).

Mom peruses the racks

The 2nd floor shoe department at BG

Other than some make-up (Hourglass primer, powder, and brush* and my favourite Kevyn Aucoin mascara), we found nothing at Bergdorf's.  I really like the department store, but I have to say, their designer collections were a bit meh this time.

We pause outside before moving onto Saks.

Saks seems to have a larger selection of designers, and they carry both Comme des Garcons and Junya Watanabe (BG doesn't have CdG anymore) as well as a lot of smaller, less established designers, which makes it fun to look around.

Shopping is hungry work, so we have a snack at Saks, sharing a piece of cake and the cheese plate.

Forgot to take the picture before we dove in

Looking down on 5th avenue from the restaurant; interestingly, the Bergdorf cafe we go to is in the basement.

My mother insists on taking a picture of me, and I insist on making some kind of face.

Then I take my mom back to the train station where I wait with her until she boards her train.  Yes, it's an indulgent day, but it happens only twice a year and always in New York (when I'm there to work Coterie).  It's just us sharing our love of style and beautiful things.  We have a common language and don't have to explain why something catches our eye.  It's a great mother-daughter shorthand.

*Note for Hourglass - if you're going to sell a brush to use specifically with a powder, it should fit inside the compact.  Just saying.

Book List

Holy cow!  It's been three weeks since I've posted anything (at least it was only three weeks).  I guess that's what deep relaxation can do to you.

I hate to reduce vacations/trips to things accomplished on them, but for the sake of getting the blog up to speed, I'm going to resort to a little list.  I actually happen to love lists and make them all the time.  (I even keep the notebooks where I jot those lists down, but that might be changing soon...)

Books read:

The Feast Nearby:  How I lost my job, buried a marriage, and found my way by keeping chickens, foraging, preserving, bartering, and eating locally (all on $40 a week) by Robin Mather
     Verdict:  Enjoyed it although the memoir aspect of it overshadowed the "on $40 a week" aspect for me; nonetheless, it's got some great recipes in it.

Hit by a Farm:  How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Barn by Catherine Friend
     Verdict: Meh.  I found the writing to lack sophistication, and I often thought the two women were embarrassingly naive about things.  I left it in Nova Scotia for someone else to read.

Grace by Grace Coddington
     Verdict:  Fun but lacked depth/self-awareness.  I enjoyed feeling like I was part of the fashion in-crowd through the decades but found Coddington's lack of self-examination (glosses over the devastation to the fashion community caused by AIDS, does what I call a 'hit-and-run' about her miscarriage and her sister's death, etc.) disappointing.  In my Creative Nonfiction class I would've given her a C+/B- for her lack of disclosure or willingness to be vulnerable.

Unless by Carol Shields
     Verdict:   Interesting and well-written novel; found the conclusion a bit too tidy and the narrator unsympathetic but not so much that she inspired any kind of deep reaction from me (which would've been better).

The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga
     Verdict:  Compelling and smart although I don't know that it will stick with me.  There were a few other issues with it (uh, almost complete lack of fully formed female characters) that are probably more reflective of my politics than the book's literary merits.

The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver
     Verdict:  F*cking amazing.  (Yes, it deserved the emphatic swearing.)  A stunning book that does so much within its pages (and incidentally is entirely narrated by women).  Read it if you haven't already.

I had a lot of time to read, which was great.  Nova Scotia is the place where I get to feel like a reader again.

Some Things I Learned on a Long Trip - Wrap Up

The ladyfriend and I agree - the best caption for this is "Where's the key party?"

Because this post is so overdue, I thought I'd limit my commentary (as much as I possibly can) and summarize the other things I learned; however, after typing the first one in, I forgot what the other lessons had been.  I must confess to a bit of Nova Scotia brain.   Please forgive me.

1. Don't save the sightseeing attractions for when your visitors come.  Of the four sets of guests we had, only one wanted to see some of the sights of Berlin.  Needless to say, we were surprised.  It also meant that we didn't see a lot of things we'd assumed we would.  We did take an amazing 4-hour walking tour of Berlin a few days before we left, but next time, we'd take our chances having to see a sight twice rather than miss it altogether.

Some Things I Learned From a Long Trip - Language

Greetings from Nova Scotia!  I've been trying to write this post for days but life in Hamilton got in the way (which will be one of the final "Some Things I Learned..." post).

Now onto language and what one might learn while on a long trip to a country with a different primary language. But first a small bit of background to help you understand where I'm coming from.  Firstly, German is technically my first language.  Secondly, I was bullied as a small child when I was learning English.   I have, for years, beat myself up over the fact that I do not speak German fluently; it was only after realizing the second point that I understood (part of the reason) why as well as why I have a hard time speaking any language if I can't do it perfectly (as if!).  This, of course, underscored our trip to Berlin.

Whenever anyone says to you, "Oh, you don't need to speak German/French/Italian/Insert Another Language Here in X, everyone speaks English," be a little suspect.  Many friends who'd been to Berlin recently sang the same song, and even people we met who have lived in Berlin for many years asserted the same thing.  I think it might hold true if you either a) stuck to the more tourist/shopping areas, b) lived in a neighborhood like Kreuzberg (lots of expats and hipsters), and/or c) you weren't overly concerned with being understood or understanding.  A third point I should've added to the paragraph above is that being understood is VERY important to me - whether it's literally or emotionally or psychologically.

Some Things I Learned From a Long Trip - Projects

When we go to Nova Scotia I always bring a number of projects along since I know I'll have hours of uninterrupted time and no pressing outside obligations to attend to.  These projects include crafts, of course, as well as writing and art projects as well.  Berlin was no different.  What was different was the amount of time we had - almost three times as much time.

However, Berlin was different in that we weren't in a rural environment, with few distractions.  We were in a city that not only had things we wanted to do and see but people we met and wanted to hang out with.  What has this taught me about packing projects?

Firstly, let me outline what I brought with me and their status:

1. Yarn and the incomplete Tourist Sweater - finished
2. Beginning of and yarn for the Soho Smocked Dress - finished
3. A crossstitch kit that I'm 3/4 of the way through - didn't touch
4. The Alabama Chanin dress I started at the workshop last year - made some serious progress
5. My collection of short stories - shopped around a little as well as submitted individual stories
6. Drafts of stories and novel - worked on a couple of shorts
7. Two university classes to design - started thinking about.

That should've been enough, no?  But it was clearly (yes, clearly) unreasonable for me to take a "no new craft materials for a year" pledge.  Besides going to Liberty of London where it would've taken some kind of twisted logic to leave without fabric, there were yarns that I haven't seen in Canada or the US (okay, maybe I wasn't looking for them either, but still), and when taking one of our guests to four different yarn shops (need to write reviews of them), it was too tempting.  In fact, I have a new saying, "If you leave a yarn shop without buying any yarn, a sheep somewhere cries."  (This applies to "cotton sheep" as well.)  I ended up buying four skeins of sock yarn (two to give as souvenirs to friends, one for a holiday present, and one for me), yarn for the Loop Entrelac Tank that I actually finished in Berlin but need to readjust the straps on, yarn for scarves for the ladyfriend and myself (also completed in Berlin), and yarn for the Carnaby skirt I plan to make.  I also (yes, there's more) had some Alabama Chanin fabric brought by a visitor so I could make a skirt and t-shirt that I badly needed.  I wear that skirt like a pair of jeans right now - all the time (photos will follow one day).

Some Things I Learned From a Long Trip - Baggage

Before I begin, let me say one thing - 2013 has felt like the year of packing poorly - and I have always been a pretty efficient and smart packer.  But this year, so far, has made me rethink that.

So, the first thing I have realized is that a) you'll always need something and b) you'll always have at least one item you don't wear.  How is that helpful?  Well, it's not, by itself; however, let's take this a bit further and use it to make a guideline.

(Stay with me here; there's a little background/digression coming, but I swear, it'll all come around to my point.)  As you know (if you don't, pretend), clothes are very important to me, and while in Berlin, I did have a bit of a crisis around my wardrobe and feeling like myself.  I won't go into too much detail except to say that my clothing and how I dress is an integral part of my identity (I have ideas for an article around this).  How can one pack for a trip longer than a week or two and maintain one's sense of self (I know, pretty intense) without carting, say, five suitcases?  (By the way, our extra suitcases cost us €50 each, which is already pretty expensive, but the person to whom I paid the fee told me that if we'd flown out on Saturday, the rate would've jumped to €150 each!  He went on to say that American Airlines made something like $8billion in excess baggage fees alone last year.)

Now this is a work in progress, but I have an upcoming 5-week trip to put it to the test.  What I think would work best for someone like me is to start with some key pieces, like a dress that always looks fantastic and that you can dress up/down and wear in multiple temperatures.  I would've had that with my Patagonia dress (the one of the traumatic day in Marrakesh), but I had jettisoned the hoody I wear it with when we were in the "lightening the load" frenzy before we flew to Berlin.  This time?  Dress and hoody.

These key pieces should be distinctive but malleable, and this is where I plan to do more experimenting.  For example, I almost never think about wearing a skirt over another dress to create a different look.  This technique has great potential and is quite versatile.  I tried a variation of it with a long white shirt over a fully pleated skirt, and it was pretty cool.  Also, the jeans that fit you perfectly should be packed.

A number of my friends had said to me, "You'll buy clothes in Berlin," and I've already discussed one of the issues with that.  Nonetheless, there is something to be said for not packing and getting basics like t-shirts, for example, where you land (if possible).  While there can be issues with that approach (spending money, buying things made in China, etc.), it can also save you the headache of the "lightening the load" frenzy one might be engaged in to avoid paying €150 for an extra suitcase.  To make this really work, I'd suggest donating whatever basics you've bought abroad to a charity (I doubt you want to pay €150 to bring some t-shirts home).  I did end up making a number of items including a t-shirt and a skirt, which I have yet to blog about.

Home Again, But Not Quite At Home

Amazingly we made it home despite the fact that we had four checked suitcases, which either weighed mere grams below the maximum or, as in one case, were a little "chunky;" a carry-on suitcase, which was overweight but forgiven by the kind desk agent; and ninety days exactly in the Schengen (a day more and we'd have been fined €1,000 and banned - yes banned! - from the area for three years; suffice to say, we did a lot of math to make sure we were within the limits).   Our flight was pretty painless and included a celebrity - Philip Seymour Hoffman.  He was wearing a NYRangers hat and had a pencil that stuck out diagonally in front of his ear from beneath the rim of his cap.  These are the kinds of things I remember - that and that he looked a bit, let's say ragged out.

When we left Berlin it was probably somewhere in the low 60s (Fahrenheit); when we landed in New York it was 90.  Now its rainy and 55 in Hamilton.  Guess we could say the weather is reminiscent of Berlin.  I could use a little more New York.

So we made it back to Hamilton, but the renovation on our house are not done.  So we've taken up residence in our friend's house (she has the space).  It's a little disorienting to be home but not home.  We're in our city, but not in our neighborhood and not with our stuff.  We're still living out of suitcases, which seem to be filled with inappropriate clothing (not warm enough, too nice, etc.).  We're only here for a little over a week now.  I'm not sure how I'm going to manage to pack for Nova Scotia.

Tomorrow - lessons learned on a long trip.