I've been holding onto this post for a while, partly because I wasn't sure what else might end this year. I guess I was also being a little superstitious despite my general inclinations in that area.
There have been a number of significant things/people/events that have ceased to be this year. It started when I discovered that our beloved Lakeside Lodge in Gillespie Settlement, New Brunswick had closed without our knowledge (yes, I can be possessive). We'd been stopping there on our trips to and from Nova Scotia for about eight years and had become close to the owners, Karl and Therese. While we knew there'd been some problems, most signficantly the rise of food costs that made it difficult to make a profit at the restaurant, we'd figured they'd be figured out (yes, "figured" twice in once sentence).
When I looked up the actual address for a bike trip with my father, I read they'd closed their business. It felt a little bit like my family had moved and sold the family house without telling me. I tried to find a way to reach Karl and Therese because we'd never had a chance to say goodbye, but that is one of the things about endings. Sometimes you don't get that opportunity.
The second significant end was the death of my college boyfriend, Pete.
I'd always felt I'd see Pete again. He was what many people have - the one I felt there was unfinished business with (and no, I didn't think we were going to get back together or something). So when an old college friend sent me the news, I was shocked and so full of grief. Even now, I find it a little hard to understand.
The third significant ending was the end of the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival. At least I knew that was coming when I went, but it didn't make it any easier, and I'm finding that I pull up images and moments in my mind that I know will never happen again. Fest had become, in the six years since we first attended, a major part of my life. It was a place that was yes, full of contradictions, but a place where contradictions could be allowed and examined. One may think it's a cop-out, but I have no need to discuss the politics and various machinations that led to its end. What I have to say is that I realized this year, while walking around Fest, that Fest allowed me to rise to my full stature - something that is so hard to do off the Land. I'm trying to carry that around with me as I move through the world now.
There have been other endings as well. I feel like this is the year for them, and maybe it's because I'm turning 50 (the ladyfriend turned 50 earlier this month). I am choosing to see these things as opening up space for new possibilities from something as simple as making the trip to Nova Scotia in two days rather than three and freeing up a little time to reconnecting with one of my best friends from college.
This year has been huge for me in so many ways, and much of it fills me with excitement. Can I tell you that I've read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and am considering changing my relationship to my stuff? Opening literal and figurative space in my life could really allow me to take on the next decade being more and more of the person I want and believe myself to be. This may all sound a bit, I don't know, new agey or something, but there it is.
September always brings a new year for many of us. It's good to take a moment to recognize the shifts in our lives, and while we grieve them sometimes, it helps to recognize that they've opened space for new things as well. Just thought I'd share that.
There have been a number of significant things/people/events that have ceased to be this year. It started when I discovered that our beloved Lakeside Lodge in Gillespie Settlement, New Brunswick had closed without our knowledge (yes, I can be possessive). We'd been stopping there on our trips to and from Nova Scotia for about eight years and had become close to the owners, Karl and Therese. While we knew there'd been some problems, most signficantly the rise of food costs that made it difficult to make a profit at the restaurant, we'd figured they'd be figured out (yes, "figured" twice in once sentence).
When I looked up the actual address for a bike trip with my father, I read they'd closed their business. It felt a little bit like my family had moved and sold the family house without telling me. I tried to find a way to reach Karl and Therese because we'd never had a chance to say goodbye, but that is one of the things about endings. Sometimes you don't get that opportunity.
The second significant end was the death of my college boyfriend, Pete.
 | ||
| (Note: this image is from after we were dating and after I'd graduated) |
The third significant ending was the end of the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival. At least I knew that was coming when I went, but it didn't make it any easier, and I'm finding that I pull up images and moments in my mind that I know will never happen again. Fest had become, in the six years since we first attended, a major part of my life. It was a place that was yes, full of contradictions, but a place where contradictions could be allowed and examined. One may think it's a cop-out, but I have no need to discuss the politics and various machinations that led to its end. What I have to say is that I realized this year, while walking around Fest, that Fest allowed me to rise to my full stature - something that is so hard to do off the Land. I'm trying to carry that around with me as I move through the world now.
There have been other endings as well. I feel like this is the year for them, and maybe it's because I'm turning 50 (the ladyfriend turned 50 earlier this month). I am choosing to see these things as opening up space for new possibilities from something as simple as making the trip to Nova Scotia in two days rather than three and freeing up a little time to reconnecting with one of my best friends from college.
 |
| Same New Year's Eve; same awesome sweater |
September always brings a new year for many of us. It's good to take a moment to recognize the shifts in our lives, and while we grieve them sometimes, it helps to recognize that they've opened space for new things as well. Just thought I'd share that.
No comments:
Post a Comment