I had a tough week last week, but I didn't realize it until Saturday night when I tried working through my unhappiness with the ladyfriend. It was then that I realized the week had actually been about crushing disappointment. I know, it sounds serious, and in some ways it was. The theme started at a literary event on Sunday evening where I felt erased. As a writer, I hope to be introduced as such, especially in the company of other writers, as well as asked about my work, but that didn't happen. To make the whole thing complete, I got a rejection delivered to my email in the middle of the event. Huzzah!
Since I've been there before, I didn't think it would have a lasting impact. The rest of the week - Monday through Friday - was full of engagements, obligations, and appointments. It was pretty exhausting even if most of the events were fun.
So on Saturday, when I went to the studio to finish the Afghani Nomad Dress, I was ready to have a satisfying day of sewing. That is not how it went down.
I have two projects I tried to finish this week - the Anna vest and the Afghani Nomad Dress. I stitched the vest together, and that went fine. It was the buttonband, however, that defied my intentions. Instead of lying flat and evenly, it undulates a little and is uneven. I have to take the whole thing off (it goes all the way from the bottom left opening around the neck and down to the bottom right). I am not pleased.
The bodice of the Afghani Nomad Dress doesn't work for me so I tried to modify it; however, I didn't calculate the measurements correctly and have to redo it. Please note that I am doing French seams for this dress, which means every time I have to unpick a seam, I have to do it twice. By the time I checked in with the ladyfriend about a pick-up, I was pretty unhappy.
There were a couple of other contributing factors, but once I started talking about it, I realized that between the fantasy of finishing the projects and the undermining of my identity as a writer, there was more than enough disappointment to go around. These moments, taken in isolation, generally don't leave a mark, but when they're compounded by exhaustion and other factors, they combine to make a bit of a steamroller. I'm thankful for the clarity and understanding the week has given me. Hoping I can keep it all in mind as I move ahead.
Since I've been there before, I didn't think it would have a lasting impact. The rest of the week - Monday through Friday - was full of engagements, obligations, and appointments. It was pretty exhausting even if most of the events were fun.
So on Saturday, when I went to the studio to finish the Afghani Nomad Dress, I was ready to have a satisfying day of sewing. That is not how it went down.
I have two projects I tried to finish this week - the Anna vest and the Afghani Nomad Dress. I stitched the vest together, and that went fine. It was the buttonband, however, that defied my intentions. Instead of lying flat and evenly, it undulates a little and is uneven. I have to take the whole thing off (it goes all the way from the bottom left opening around the neck and down to the bottom right). I am not pleased.
The bodice of the Afghani Nomad Dress doesn't work for me so I tried to modify it; however, I didn't calculate the measurements correctly and have to redo it. Please note that I am doing French seams for this dress, which means every time I have to unpick a seam, I have to do it twice. By the time I checked in with the ladyfriend about a pick-up, I was pretty unhappy.
There were a couple of other contributing factors, but once I started talking about it, I realized that between the fantasy of finishing the projects and the undermining of my identity as a writer, there was more than enough disappointment to go around. These moments, taken in isolation, generally don't leave a mark, but when they're compounded by exhaustion and other factors, they combine to make a bit of a steamroller. I'm thankful for the clarity and understanding the week has given me. Hoping I can keep it all in mind as I move ahead.
Argh! I hate weeks like that! I don't care what any literary group says, or foolish editors, you are a GREAT writer! And I am wondering how the hell they introduced you if not talking about your writing?
ReplyDeleteAs fro the sewing front - well, you know as well as anyone that getting it right sometimes takes a couple of tries. And that you have the skill sot do it well. that doesn't mean it isn't frustrating, though, I know that, too. But hopefully this week will be better and you can nail the button band and the bodice! And the next letter will be an acceptance letter. On paper, that you can see and touch and smell.
Thanks! I try not to complain, but sometimes it's just too annoying. I have a bit of breathing room right now, and hope that it calms things down a bit.
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