An Instructive Week - Part 1

I had a tough week last week, but I didn't realize it until Saturday night when I tried working through my unhappiness with the ladyfriend. It was then that I realized the week had actually been about crushing disappointment. I know, it sounds serious, and in some ways it was. The theme started at a literary event on Sunday evening where I felt erased. As a writer, I hope to be introduced as such, especially in the company of other writers, as well as asked about my work, but that didn't happen. To make the whole thing complete, I got a rejection delivered to my email in the middle of the event. Huzzah!

Since I've been there before, I didn't think it would have a lasting impact. The rest of the week - Monday through Friday - was full of engagements, obligations, and appointments. It was pretty exhausting even if most of the events were fun.

So on Saturday, when I went to the studio to finish the Afghani Nomad Dress, I was ready to have a satisfying day of sewing. That is not how it went down.

I have two projects I tried to finish this week - the Anna vest and the Afghani Nomad Dress. I stitched the vest together, and that went fine. It was the buttonband, however, that defied my intentions. Instead of lying flat and evenly, it undulates a little and is uneven. I have to take the whole thing off (it goes all the way from the bottom left opening around the neck and down to the bottom right). I am not pleased.

The bodice of the Afghani Nomad Dress doesn't work for me so I tried to modify it; however, I didn't calculate the measurements correctly and have to redo it. Please note that I am doing French seams for this dress, which means every time I have to unpick a seam, I have to do it twice. By the time I checked in with the ladyfriend about a pick-up, I was pretty unhappy.

There were a couple of other contributing factors, but once I started talking about it, I realized that between the fantasy of finishing the projects and the undermining of my identity as a writer, there was more than enough disappointment to go around. These moments, taken in isolation, generally don't leave a mark, but when they're compounded by exhaustion and other factors, they combine to make a bit of a steamroller. I'm thankful for the clarity and understanding the week has given me. Hoping I can keep it all in mind as I move ahead.

Lessons Learned

I started this year with a post on challenges and opportunities, which came on the heels of a rather long and busy year.

April often signals the beginning of "challenge" season, as I like to call it now. I've also realized that April is the month that things are being finished up while other things are begun. It feels like the start of another part of the year, kind of like September does. The fact that my schedule is arranged around the academic year clearly influences this perception.

Nonetheless, April always brings the 30 Days of Biking challenge and the 30-Day Yoga Challenge, two things I've participated in in the past. But this year, I took a moment to remember what I'd written just a few months before and decided to let them proceed without me.

I have a much better idea of what April requires of me. Initially I'd be seduced by the fact that classes were over in the first week or so, which erroneously made me believe I had more time. The fact is, I have a lot of work to do to finish the school year. While I could probably handle the yoga challenge, it's not in my best interest right now.

The biking challenge didn't really tempt me much this year. The weather has been really crappy, and frankly, I don't feel like I have anything to prove - to myself or to the world - about my relationship with my bike. We're good, thank you very much. We'll be on the road soon enough.

In the meantime, I feel like the past few months have been quite productive. I'm getting all kinds of work done - writing, making, etc. - and the fact that I'm not participating in these two challenges has helped that continue.

Of course, that said, I will be participating in Me-Made-May 2018. Hey, my grades will be in; taxes will be done; and I have some new me-mades to wear!

Showing Up

That's the theme from my Get to Work Book for March. It bears keeping in mind.

Today I continued some kitchen work - canning trotter gear and chicken stock, prepping pork fat for lardo, rendering the last of the lard and making some "cracklings" aka pork rinds or fried pork fat. Not a low calorie day, but a little goes a long way. This is all part of what I'm calling the "freezer reclamation" project. I don't know about you, but our freezers (we have a small chest freezer in the basement) are almost always full, and often we have no idea what's in there. It's good to get things out of the freezer and onto the shelves.

Things are starting to get back to routine after our week away. It's amazing how seven or eight days away can almost entirely erase the rhythms you had before, but I feel like mine are pretty well established now, which is quite satisfying. Even this blog post - Monday is my usual day to post. It just makes it easier.

Also, I'm pleased to announce that one of my stories was a finalist for the Breakwater Review Fiction Prize. You can read it here.

Showing up, and moving forward! Have a great week.

February Goals Into March Goals and Then Some

Okay, I know February only has 28 days (unless it's a leap year, of course), but this year February felt like it blew by.  I guess being away for 8 days made it feel even shorter. The nice thing is that the dates fall on the same day of the week (when February is 28 days long) so March feels like an extended dance-remix version, and I'm using it as such because I didn't quite manage to get everything I'd wanted to accomplished in February.

I did make kombucha and kimchi, but I didn't have the time to make beer.

I didn't finish my Kate Davies cardigan, but I did "bang out a Carbeth."

I did not deal with the dress shirt.

So March's 3 goals will look a little familiar:

1. Project to Finish (WIP): Yep, still Kate Davies's Bláithín cardigan. I may have to lower my grosgrain tape desires; I've found it hard to find some cute tape to back the button bands.

2. Fix/Remake/or Let Go: I'm going to deal with that dress shirt.
 
3. Get Started On:  I'm going to make some beer. Yes, I will. I'm also going to start sewing the Schoolhouse Tunic, a pattern I've long coveted but could never quite pull the trigger on until yesterday.

Photo from Sew Liberated

I have no issue acknowledging that the combination of a discount and a sew-along over the month of March encouraged me.

It's been a good year so far. I've had one story accepted for publication (although I have no idea when that publication will come out), and another story was a finalist for a fiction prize. I'll post links when they're published.

So, last night, as I gleefully joined yet another KAL (this time for the Brae Cove tunic, for which I plan to dye some yarn from my stash), I suddenly wondered if I were getting ahead of myself. Was I taking on too much? I'm leading another KAL (for Squam), for which I also have the yarn but have a generous deadline of June, and I have some writing and other creative projects simmering.

Then I realized what was going on. I'm in the second half of the term, which is generally less work for me as they're working on larger projects, and I'd just finished grading a major mid-term project for one class. So there's a sense of having some time. But what's really at play here is that I don't have any overwhelming art deadlines right now, and that's of our own making. 2018 was dubbed Project: Life, where we weren't going to try to make new art (working on showing what we've made) and instead would focus on taking care of the other projects in our lives. Holy cow! It was a revelation!

It's not as though my life was always like 2017, but last year really took us to the mat and kind of made us forget how we lived before. In the future, I'm striving for a more sane balance among the many projects I undertake. Right now, however, I feel like I'm on fire, and I'm going with it! Why not?

Fiction Workshop

I'm running a fiction workshop, over two weekends (but three weeks), at the Cotton Factory in November; participants are limited to 8.  If you're interested or know someone who might be, you can send them here.  Thanks!

Slow Fashion October*

Checking in with Instagram (because, no, I don't check it everyday), I found out about Slow Fashion October.  This fills me with both excitement and dread.  Excitement because I'm really trying to up the ante of me-made-clothes in my closet, and dread because the last thing I need right now is another freakin' project.  And I can't resist.

In the meantime, I thought it'd be a good time to share Seamwork magazine from Colette Patterns with you.  Each month Seamwork features two patterns that are designed to take you 3 hours or less to complete, helping you (me) get the handmade wardrobe we fantasize about.  (See how I took "you" and "me" and made it "we"? - That's called crafty, and grammar - hah!)  In all honesty I have yet to make one of the patterns (subscribers get two pattern credits a month for $6), mostly because school has started and Shake-n-Make has a show opening on Tuesday (yes, I'll write a post about that in the next day or so), which requires my attention.  But having a stash of patterns that won't take me a weekend (or more) to make and could result in wardrobe staples is inspiring.

And because I'm a glutton for (self) punishment, I'm considering implementing a "Finish One/Start One" project to spur me to go back to not only sewing or knitting WIPs** but to stories I've started and left hanging.  But rather than make it some kind of goal, which often leads to a sense of failure, I'm working toward satisfaction.  I'm not going to kill myself trying to crank out projects or stories because I said I would; I'm going to work on projects with an eye to satisfying my need to create.  We'll have to see what comes out of that.

Happy October!

*Sometimes I think I need a tattoo that says "Better late than never" because, yes, it's October 2nd
** Work-in-Progress plural, and yes, grammatically it should be WsIP, but it's not.

Coming Into the Home Stretch

Our neighbors, right across the street, at the community pasture

Yesterday the ladyfriend put our time here into perspective.  We always have this sense that time is flying by, but when we stop to think about what we've done while we've been here (and when we did it), we realize that we've pretty much enjoyed each day to its fullest, and that's what we like.  We've puzzled, biked, gone to Halifax to attend an opening, visited friends, read, crafted, swum, and more.  However, it's not so much about what we've done or accomplished since we've been here; it's the way this place constantly renews us.

The ladyfriend at the Halifax Farmers' Market

We have a little over a week left before we head back home.  August is a busy month for us as we are home only for a few, most likely frantic, days before we go to MichFest (more on that in another post), visit the ladyfriend's mother & family in Colorado, and finish getting ready for the school year.  (I think I have let go of any surprise that we hit the ground running in August; it happens every year this way.)  I have the feeling that this coming week will be a busy one.  Not only is it River John Days, but we'll be trying to see our friends here one more time as well as take care of some business and get a few more days of swimming in.  The great thing is that we always have faith we'll be here again next summer so there's no reason to fret about what did or didn't happen this time.

It's been a good creative time for me.  I'm working on a new collection of short stories and am starting to get a sense of the shape of that landscape.  I'm hoping to get one story finished (or as near to that as possible) to use for a residency application, but that might be a bit much to ask.  I am, in the meantime, attempting to cultivate a "work-lust" a la Seamus Heaney.  I thank my friend Karen, at Day In & Day Out for the quote and inspiration!

Things change quickly, last week's puzzle gets taken apart to make way for the next one.

Me Oh My Oh May!

Yes, I thought I'd shed the monster, but then life threw some unexpected variables my way, and I just couldn't blog.  Sometimes there's too much to talk about.

But it's May, and this year I've learned that in many ways, May should be my month.  Firstly, it's Me Made May, a month dedicated to wearing handmade items (and in this case made by the wearer because if you know anything about fashion, all clothing is handmade).  I got a late start on it (saw it on my local fabric store's blog), which may be a good thing since I can't try and commit to wearing something I've made every day.  Instead, my goal is (from yesterday on out) to wear something I've made three days a week.  I'll be posting my outfits on Instagram.  Yesterday I didn't get a chance to take a photo, but here's today's* -

There I am, already cozying up to our central air - hah!  I'm thinking about challenging myself to bring only items I've made (other than exercise clothing and swimwear) to Nova Scotia this summer, but I'm not quite there yet.

May is also National Bike Month (at least in the US). I haven't been biking as much as I should be; today is the last day of the 30-day yoga challenge so I've been spending time with "my other girlfriend" as the ladyfriend has come to call my practice.  All that to say, I'm hopping on the bike whenever I can and not just because it's Bike Month.

And finally, it's Short Story Month.  Say what?!  Like I said, it's my month (except that my birthday's not in it - gotta save something for November).  I'm a little late to that party as well since they have a write-a-short-story-a-day challenge going on.  I think I'll approach it like Me Made May - at least three days a week write a short story.  Huzzah!  In honour of that, here are links to two short stories of mine that have been published online and are still available (The Circles In Which We Travel, published by Joyland Toronto, doesn't seem to be available, and Organic Compositions, published by Night Train, isn't currently archived on their site, but hopefully it'll be so soon):

Consolation, published by Juked
Centerpiece, published by Bluestockings

Clearly this is the month to create.  I have to give a shout-out to my PiC (you may remember the #CLFPP2014 thing...) - she kindly sent me the remnant of a bicycle printed fabric that I'd admired on her Instagram account.  I'm hoping to use it for at least three different things.

Ride on, write on, and rock on!


*I shattered my display on my camera and had been using the ladyfriend's camera.  However, I couldn't find it today and just hoped for the best with mine.  I had no idea what any of the images I took looked like until I uploaded them to my computer.

Story Publication

Bluestockings magazine, out of Providence, RI, has published my short story, Centerpiece.  They even did an interpretive drawing for it.  Please take a moment to check it out.

It's Still January; Still Time to Set Goals

I'm sure I said I don't make resolutions, and the following list is not so much a list of resolutions, but a list of goals and milestones that could help move my writing forward.  I've adapted my list from Brooke Warner's, of SheWrites, list of 52 Things - Ideas for Writers 2015.  Amazingly, I actually edited it down (rather than my usual urge to add/complicate).  I intend to amend/edit it as I accomplish one thing or another, and I will be happy if I do half of these things over the course of the year.

Here's my version of Brooke's list:

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1. Start or join a writing group.
2. Guest post for a blog you read/admire.
3. Commit to a certain number of submissions a month, and stick to it for the whole year.
4. Read a banned book during Banned Book Week, September 27 - October 3, 2015. For a list of banned books, visit: http://www.ala.org/bbooks/.
5. Submit a story to a call for submissions for an anthology.
6. Buy a book for a child or teenager in your life for no reason at all.
7. Commit to writing a certain number of words per week, or per month.
8. Attend a local author reading, or two or five or ten.
9. Support your local bookstore.
10. Write a book review and put it on your blog or your website.
11. Do one thing that truly champions another writer.
12. Read a book that falls way outside your general area of interest.
13. Go to a writers’ conference.
14. Apply for residency retreats, like Hedgebrook.
15. Do a 500 Words challenge. Writers like Jeff Goins have sponsored these kinds of challenges, where you write 500 words a day for a set number of days—a month or longer. Give it a whirl!
16. Read your work out loud, either at an open mic night or at a literary event.
17. Write and publish either an e-book or a chapbook. These can be as short as 25 or 30 pages (single stories or essays) and they can get your work on the map.
18. Enter your work into a contest. You have nothing to lose!
19. Map out a timeline for your book, or for your next book. Consider when would be a reasonable publication date for your book and write it down. Post it somewhere where you can see it to hold that date as a goal.
20. Commit to a certain number of blog posts a month—one, two, four—and stick to it for the whole year.
21. If you don’t already have a website, start one. If you have a website you know needs a facelift, commit to giving it one.
22. Memorize a poem.
23. Get involved with my local library.
24. Make a list of your top ten favorite books in your own genre and reread two of them.
25. Do something that shows your commitment to writing—plant something or buy yourself a house (or office) plant; get a piece of “writing” jewelry; or create or purchase something that’s meaningful to you that you see every day as a reminder to yourself about the meaning writing holds in your life.

Feel Me, Eat Me, Watch Me, Read Me

Card from Flakes Paperie

Oooh, baby, it's cold outside.  I rode to the train station yesterday in -24C wind chill.  I know, kind of crazy, but after reading through this thread, I felt like there's no such thing as too cold.  However, I did have the ladyfriend pick me and my bike up at 9:30pm.  Too many variables that I wasn't prepared for (flurries, ice, haven't put the studded tires on, etc.).  There may be a "too cold" setting for me.

But everything seems to be about winter cycling right now as the temperatures have dropped.  Velojoy has a solid guide for the season, and I found this link while wondering whether I needed to have a temperature cut-off for cycling.

Momentum Magazine highlighted the five cities that they think are on their way to being The Next Great Biking Cities.  I was happy to see that Washington, DC was among them since that's where my dad bikes a lot.

Rather than think about various resolutions one can make (although I do appreciate an Uberlist a la the Thrifty Knitter), here are just a few thoughts to keep in mind over the coming year.  But you might also want some actual benchmarks for the coming year, and if you're a writer, this list might interest you.

What about food?  How about pizza sauce or lemon chicken?  Both seem like worthy endeavours although I will be at the annual sausage party, as I like to call it, this weekend.  That's right, time to break down some organic pigs and make sausage in a cold garage all weekend.  But boy, are we fed well!

And finally, I leave you with this video.  I don't know about skiing naked, but everyone looks like they're having a good time.

Food For Thought

I just had a chance to read this article by writer Camilla Gibb.  It's a bit sobering, but for those of us who are trying to write, it's not surprising.

On My Mind Mondays: Toward a Common Goal

Mulberry is fascinated by the pressure canner

• Independent bookstores:  I listened to a Fresh Air interview with Ann Patchett who was compelling in her argument for buying books at actual bookstores and not online.  More often than not, I buy online because it's often less expensive and conducive to off-hour (aka impulse) purchasing; however, I do value bookstores, and frankly, I can afford to pay full price to support local economies so that's what I'm planning on doing whenever possible from here on out.

• Wabi Sabi (continued):  I'm reading Simply Imperfect:  Revisiting the Wabi-Sabi House by Robyn Griggs Lawrence, and her explanation of the concepts and how to make them part of one's life resonates with me.  I cannot claim to be a minimalist by any stretch of the imagination, but my life seems to be a constant work-in-progress where I continue to try to whittle things down and get everything closer to what I value.  I'll be working on slowly decluttering spaces around me.

• Eggplant with Anchovies:  This is what I'm making for dinner tonight.

• My upcoming trip to Oakland:  I'm off for a visit with the boy and will have a lot of time on my own (the boy's got to work).  I've signed up for a sashiko workshop already, and a friend has recommended I check out the Ai Weiwei installation on Alcatraz.  While I'll be seeing the boy daily, part of this trip feels as though I'm on my own, which is quite interesting.  What will I do with my time?

• Fashion Blows:  My friend, Abi Slone, curated this exhibit showcasing some of the late, great Isabella Blow's clothing.  It's got a short run, and I'm going to Toronto to see it tomorrow. 

• Interrogation of the Closet:  I've been trying to "curate" my closet/wardrobe for the last couple of years, slowly.  I'm working with the theme "Making my closet work better, not bigger."  Now it's time for the inquisition, as it were.  I'm going to take each rail of clothing (yes, there are more than one), divide it based on how often or the last time I wore an item, and then figure out what stays and what goes.  In conjunction with that, I've conceived of a creative nonfiction piece that deals with the process.

• Apples:  Today I've got to utilize the last of our apples.  Applesauce & hard cider are on the schedule.

I've never seen Gwendolyn so fully sacked out on the DVR before.

Reading Tonight

So, yeah, it's been a bit longer between posts than anticipated, but between the end of the school year, getting things together for the bike trip, and all the other things that seem to crop up, I only seemed to have time for what I like to call "virtual blogging:"  writing posts in my head and considering it "done."  Hah!  If only (or maybe not).  I hope to catch up over the next few days.

In the meantime, I wanted to let you know about a reading at Bluestockings bookstore (in Manhattan) tonight where I'll be one of the featured writers.  You may recall that I read during the open mic portion of the February reading.  Well, I was invited back as a featured writer after the organizer read some more of my stories.  The other featured reader is Miriam Stanley, a poet.  I'm really honoured.  The reading is from 7-9pm tonight.   Stop by if you're in the neighborhood.

(For those of you wondering about what I'm planning to wear -  the weather is throwing me for a loop because I brought suede shoes, and the forecast calls for rain.  I'll have to troubleshoot that, particularly as I really only brought one "outfit" (most of my clothes are for the bike trip; not exactly the look I'm going for tonight) - and guess what?!  I made the Merchant & Mills dress!  I'll be hemming it today (why not wait until the last possible moment?). )

Story Publication

I'm quite happy to announce that my story, The Circles In Which We Travel, has been published by Joyland.  Please check it out.

What A Long Strange Trip It's Been

Yikes!  I was away for two weeks, and it feels like I've been away for months.  I actually wept when the ladyfriend met me at the airport today with flowers.  I think it was a combination of gratitude, exhaustion, and sheer happiness at being home.

You've heard of flowers in the attic.  These are flowers in the shower...to protect them from kitties when we're not around.

I feel like I've been here, there, and everywhere, and I have to say, I might be just a little the worse for wear for it.  But it was worth it.

Some highlights -

I met the Idiosyncratic Fashionistas at Coterie where I was working (and wearing) the Kedem Sasson booth.  Oh my god!  Fashion inspirations!  And they were soooo nice.  There's a photo of me on their blog post about Coterie!  Excitement is flying from my fingertips!

I indulged my fetish and got the Trapeze dress pattern and fabric.  My mother and I went to Mood Fabrics - famed fabric store of Project Runway.  I didn't have my camera with me, but the place is incredible and the staff was really helpful.  It looks just like it does on TV - bolts and bolts of fabrics on floor to ceiling shelving.  It was probably good that we got there with only 20 or so minutes to spare.  But that was all we needed!

Pattern purchased at Purl Soho

Can you see the light blue line running through?  It's going to be awesome!

I also did an unexpected reading at the Women’s / Trans’ Poetry Jam & Open Mike night at Bluestockings Bookstore at the behest of my friend H.D. Artemis who was reading poetry that evening.  I got there late, just as my friend was reading.  Despite being called up right after her (a bit discombobulated) and finding my pages a tad out of order, the reading went well.  I need to do things like that more often.

TGIF - Now I Understand

It's been a rough few days for me - overwhelmed by schoolwork, my desire to participate in SheWriMo, and all the other things (aka the rest of my life) stranded on the wayside.  Fridays have really become the light at the end of the tunnel: a day to both regroup and get some work done.  Today I not only managed to finish a flash fiction piece that I'd started months ago, but I also submitted it and another story for publication.

 I also finally used a gift certificate from my birthday last year (it was going to expire tomorrow) and treated myself to some Malabrigo yarn to make the Transverse Cardigan from the Spring 2010 issue of Interweave Knits.

Ever diligent, however, I will mark at least five papers before I start to wind the skeins.  Promise.

So Appropo

An appropriate image and sentiment from our Nikki McClure calendar.  Write someone a letter today.  Imagine how happy they'll be to receive something other than bills and catalogs in the mail.

SheWriMo or The Pen is Mightier than the Resentment

Okay, not really.  I'm not resenting anything or anyone (well, there is a student...) right now, but it's at that ever-special time of year when all the papers are coming in, and I risk blood loss via paper cuts.   It would therefore seem natural that I would ignore invitations to take on another task...unless that task is related to my writing, which is currently in a state of suspended animation.

That's where SheWriMo (SheWrites More) comes in - a challenge from the SheWrites community to write something everyday, and not only to write something, but to make your intentions known on the SheWrites site.  I actually do write everyday, but it's usually only in my journal.  I haven't really worked on a story since, oh, maybe September.  I sent my short story manuscript to an editor (who still has it, which to me is a good thing) and in the meantime have mostly been logging rejections and noticing the dwindling number of submissions still alive out there. 

Anyway, I took the bait and posted that I would write a blog post today.  Voila!  Mission accomplished!  If only it were always that easy.  (Note, evidently November is also National Blog Posting Month - say what?)  What pleases me even more than accomplishing today's writing goal is the support of the SheWrites community.  Shortly after I'd posted today's mission, someone replied with encouragement.  Seriously, that is just what I needed.  It's really too easy to be isolated in one's writing practice (which is one reason for this blog as well).

I'll have to think about what tomorrow's goal will be.

Working through the setbacks...

I'm really hoping the disappointment of yet another rejection (literary) dissipates before I start teaching in, oh, five minutes.  I don't know why I get my hopes up, but I still do.  I guess that's why I'm still in the game.
    Maybe tomorrow's gardening with my dad will give me a sense of accomplishment and completion.
    It all just makes me tired.  Anyone?