A Little Sole-Searching? The Story of a Pair of Boots

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I recently had these boots resoled and reheeled (a dying art in a world of fast fashion), and as part of my commitment to make/mend/thrift, I felt these boots encapsulated a lot of those values as well as some other, nonsartorial, things.

I’m pretty sure my mother bought these Robert Clergerie boots for me at Bergdorf Goodman in 1995/1996.  I remember that the ladyfriend and I were still maintaining separate apartments and more importantly, separate finances.

For years my mother and I have had a semi-annual date to go shopping in New York, a tradition that has lasted into the almost 11 years I’ve been in Hamilton.  On each of these trips, my mother buys something for me.  My receptivity to this has varied over the years.  There was a time when I didn’t want her to buy me anything because I thought it undermined my independence and sense of adulthood; there was a time when it made me anxious because I knew she’d feel the day was a failure if I didn’t have something to show for it; there was the passive-aggressive phase when I tried to maximize my haul.  Over the past twenty or so years, I’ve come to a more nuanced understanding of this dynamic.

--> But in ‘95/’96 I was in the early years of my relationship both with my ladyfriend and living in NYC.  Shopping with my mother let me feel, for an afternoon at least, that I was not struggling financially in a demanding city (my mother had initially been against my move) and that I was really the woman I presented to the world i.e. able to afford her well-appointed life.  It was important that I had a moment where I felt like the concept I had of myself (yes, fostered at that time by my mother) was authentic to me. 

What I'm Wearing to Teach Today: Working on the Professorial Look

Dress:  RM for Bergdorf Goodman
Shoes: Chie Mihara

Mother-Daughter Communication

Let's dispense with the "it's been so long, blah, blah, blah" and go straight into what the biannual mother-daughter bonding shop looks like.

First, I meet my mother at the train station.

The guy behind me had what looked like aluminum foil hair.

Then we head to Bergdorf Goodman for lunch and a bit of browsing.  We pretty much share the same thing for lunch each time:  the Gotham salad (always) and the tea sandwiches.  I have to say, the tea sandwiches were a bit underseasoned and underwhelming this time.  Sometimes we have the deviled eggs, but mine are better (really).

Mom peruses the racks

The 2nd floor shoe department at BG

Other than some make-up (Hourglass primer, powder, and brush* and my favourite Kevyn Aucoin mascara), we found nothing at Bergdorf's.  I really like the department store, but I have to say, their designer collections were a bit meh this time.

We pause outside before moving onto Saks.

Saks seems to have a larger selection of designers, and they carry both Comme des Garcons and Junya Watanabe (BG doesn't have CdG anymore) as well as a lot of smaller, less established designers, which makes it fun to look around.

Shopping is hungry work, so we have a snack at Saks, sharing a piece of cake and the cheese plate.

Forgot to take the picture before we dove in

Looking down on 5th avenue from the restaurant; interestingly, the Bergdorf cafe we go to is in the basement.

My mother insists on taking a picture of me, and I insist on making some kind of face.

Then I take my mom back to the train station where I wait with her until she boards her train.  Yes, it's an indulgent day, but it happens only twice a year and always in New York (when I'm there to work Coterie).  It's just us sharing our love of style and beautiful things.  We have a common language and don't have to explain why something catches our eye.  It's a great mother-daughter shorthand.

*Note for Hourglass - if you're going to sell a brush to use specifically with a powder, it should fit inside the compact.  Just saying.

Shoe of the Week: Femme Object

I love these shoes, partly because of their beauty and partly because Liss bought them for me at Bergdorf Goodman.  I really appreciated it because, if you're butch (like Liss), shopping in the women's shoe department of a rather upscale department store can be intimidating or discomforting.  She was willing to put herself out there so I could have these terribly snazzy shoes.  Love the shoe, love the gesture.